So my little experiment with the title of my last blog worked!! In less than an hour, 64 people read my post which was published at 11pm …Sex sells, and it is really that simple! That probably explains why so many people watch the Jeremy Kyle Show; my offspring included .. as I write this blog, I can hear Jezza in the background trying to sort out “who is the father of the drug addicted pregnant mother of the sister who is shagging her brother!” One other thing is for sure … an A* in GCSE Jeremy Kyle will be awarded in the Lock family this August!!
Anyway, I can’t complain about my three fantastic daughters. It was my birthday last Wednesday, and a friend whisked me away for a luxury pedicure in the morning leaving her 1 and 2 year old children with mine, to be cared for. Unknown to me, they had planned a surprise birthday lunch party for me. My mobile had been sneakily hacked earlier in the week and texted invites had been sent to my special friends. Sandwiches had been made and sneaked into the house when the little people had been delivered, with more food being shipped in from M & S whilst my feet were having a makeover; champagne was being chilled, flowers arranged, cup cakes being iced, and carpets were even hoovered and surfaces dusted! All this was occurring as I was sipping a cappuccino while nattering to my dear friend whilst a lovely Vietnamese man attended to the dry skin on my heals! When I was delivered back home with my stunning new toes, I was greeted with a house full of special friends and family and a full blown party that had been thrown for ME! Possibly the first one ever since I turned 7. It is usually me, the control freak, who organises and plans these events for my children … and suddenly the shoe was on the other foot! (where do I get these random phrases from?!) My wonderful girls, who for between them, I have arranged 54 birthday parties in total, made ME feel special, appreciated and loved! Thank you to all of them, and to my dearest friends and family for such a lovely unexpected surprise … Oh and thank you to my youngest who hinted that her birthday is in 20 days time, and asked “are you going to plan a surprise birthday party for my 16th!!?” I had to refresh her memory about the Halloween gathering she had not long ago, which resulted in a broken greenhouse window, empty beer/wine bottles in my vegetable patch and multiple chunder cases in my mop bucket, pudding basin and kitchen sink waste disposal!
And then tragedy hit the Lock family … poor Maisie, our smallest chook who had been looking off colour for a couple of days, passed away suddenly in the night. However, I am happy to report that for some bizarre reason, Mrs Hen is hanging on in there, still looking poorly, but every morning she is the first one out of the hen house, looking for refreshments and manages to make it through another day! The name “Nugget” has already been proposed for the next member of the chooky family, and she will probably join the rest of the girls in the next couple of weeks. RIP Maisie …
And then came Easter … a special time to celebrate in the Rabbit household! The crinklies came over for an Easter Sunday roast lamb lunch, followed by afternoon tea. There were a couple of “be there” moments; one, when my geriatric, demented, 93 year old great Aunt in-law, who possibly had had too much red wine, lost control of her mind and began insulting one of my girls implying she was bulky and had a big bum, neither of which are true! And then there was my mum, who really does have dementia, forgot she was in the company of men, and began to talk about “her boobs” – twice! Followed by the main challenge of the day … how to load 4 over 80 year olds into a Landrover Discovery, one of whom is recovering from a broken hip and another a broken leg, complete with zimmer frame and walking stick! A ‘borrowed’ upturned Tesco’s crate came in handy for the vertically challenged, disabled pair … I was so close to photographing the procedure but thought it was in bad taste!
So now it is down to hard core revision and course work for the troops. 5,000 words need to be written by the weekend and I have already been accused of nagging, so my lips are sealed! Easter eggs will be used as rewards for hard work, and on the basis that Jeremy Kyle is still handing out advice on the TV, guess who will be eating all those scrummy little chocolate eggs???!